Why advocating for your child is NOT just making excuses.
The teacher who caught them pulled the boys aside and began disciplining them. Unfortunately, this particular teacher is known for struggling to manage her reactions in stressful situations. When she made a comment to the group, my son laughed. After speaking with him, I gained a clearer understanding of why he responded that way, even though he knew he had broken a rule. It’s a common reaction—especially for boys—to laugh when they feel shame or vulnerability. He also mentioned that he finds her accent very difficult to understand, which added to his discomfort.
In response to his laughter, the teacher pulled his hat off his head, threw it to the ground, and said in a raised tone, “This is not something to laugh about.” Raised voices have always distressed my son. He typically goes into a stress response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—but as he gets older, he has learned to mask these instincts more effectively.
Following the incident, the boys were taken to the Assistant Principal and asked to complete a reflection page during playtime. Later, the executive teacher returned to school, spoke with them again at lunchtime, and informed them that they would need to write a letter of apology.
Why a child who lies is simply a child trying to regulate their nervous system!
Whilst working with a student for many years as a withdrawal teacher for behaviour support, his teachers kept asking me to provide them with strategies and to work with him to make better choices. They seemed to think he was conniving, manipulative and purposefully choosing to lie in order to get out of being in trouble or facing consequences. This had been an ongoing issue which was not changing but rather imbedded in his reactive behaviours when caught or exposed.
I will hold onto you, even when you let go.
Raising teenage boys is harder than anyone could ever describe. But my worry is it is the hardest on them. We need to hold on while they learn who they are, how they show up in this world and that the feelings they have right now are not forever. This letter would be something I would love every teenage boy to hear but they are not able to listen right now. So share this with a mother of a teenage boy and it may help them hold on too.
Why the Australian education system needs a silver bullet.
We need to start listening to the voices that have the inside perspective. Teachers know they are drowning, they see the behaviours increasing and the pressure on the system is at breaking point. Check out what I believe is the silver bullet to changing how school system. If only the right people will listen.
Perspective and how we can see things differently.
Stop comparing yourself with others. Our experiences are not the same as others. Be okay with your perspective. Raising children with perspective is empowering and imperative.
Meltdown Madness
The strategies and acceptance we offer in those situations will develop a child who can be mindful of the way they are feeling and begin to understand the importance of self-regulation. The earlier we start the conversation of support the earlier we can help them manage uncomfortable feelings. As human beings, we feel vulnerable to certain emotions. We are designed that way so that we can protect ourselves in situations of danger or threat. Our body gives us warning signals that tell us we need to:
FIGHT, FLIGHT OR FREEZE
Ways to help your child regulate big emotions.
Great tips and ideas for helping manage and support your child when they are having big feelings, challenging behaviours and cannot regulate their emotions.
It’s not the behaviour or meltdown we need to stop it the support we offer to ensure our children feel protected and safe as they work through the intense feelings and calm down.